The days and months keep slipping by, and still, I haven’t managed to stop here and lay down a few words. Yet every year, I renew the hosting for this little corner of the internet — as if there’s still a quiet hope lingering, that one day I’ll return.
My last post was when Akira passed away in June 2021. That loss hit hard. To make matters worse, my marriage was falling apart just as my dog was getting sick. It was a heavy time, and I was deeply unhappy.
In the spring of 2022, I decided to get divorced — and it did me a world of good. The mental relief was real, but it came at a much higher cost than I’d expected. The cost of living in Canada has soared, and the mental load crept back in, just wearing a different face.
Since then, I’ve been living in a weird mix of paralysis and busyness. Once the essentials are covered, I can’t seem to summon any extra energy. No travel, no going out, no hobbies. Most evenings, I pour myself a glass of wine and put on some random TV show, only to fall asleep halfway through.
Rinse and repeat.
I’m not sure if I’m really coming back here today, or just leaving a trace. Maybe that’s enough for now.
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